Part 2: Date or Job? Let’s Play a Game
It’s nearly halfway through 2024—do you know where your job is?
If “yes,” congrats. Especially if you work in corporate America. Especially if you work in tech. And super-especially if you work in creative, marketing and/or sales, which have all been super-hit by companies trying to half-ass those roles while they wait for, I dunno, the interest rates to come down? An epiphany that they’re not gaining customers or growing? Negative feedback about their shitty ads/website/commercials/emails/anything they put out in the wild that looks like it was created by a not-human?
I can’t really explain the state of the current job market or why it feels like a hot toxic dumpster fire. But I can tell you stories about it, which is much more in line with my skill set than economics.
So, let’s get to it, shall we? If you missed my first post about “Date or Job? Let’s Play a Game,” go ahead and check that out and you’ll understand why I started the series (oh yes . . . there’s more to come).
The premise is easy: I’ll describe a specific (and true) scenario, aggregated from friends and former co-workers who are either navigating the job applicant pool or the online dating world, and you guess if I’m talking about “date or job.” Right now, there are so many similarities, the stories sort of blend together. Good luck.
*Answer key at the bottom. No cheating.
Scenario #1
Monica got dumped in September 2023. Due to circumstances beyond her control, her relationship ended, and while she was sad about it, the truth was that it was still fairly new, and she’d seen warning signs leading up to its eventual demise. She didn’t want to end it—she was going to make her partner pull the plug. But the writing was on the wall, so she prepared herself accordingly.
A month after her break-up, she was back on her feet, getting to know someone new. This, in itself, was a small miracle given the state of the dating pool/job market (no, I’m not telling you which one), so Monica thought, “Whew, lucky me!”
Seven months later, Monica’s luck ran out. She got dumped again. This time, with little to no warning.
Monica was not about to let rejection send her into a downward spiral, not even if this was the second time in 8 months—so she kept her head up, got back online, and even found a silver lining: “I have more time to walk my dog!” Good job, Monica—way to stay positive.
Then she met someone.
They talked for a bit . . . then had a face-to-face . . . then another . . . and shut the front door, everything seemed gucci! Could this be the beginning of something beautiful so soon?!
Nope. Not when she got a message saying, “Great to meet you, you’re rad! But gosh . . . I feel like I need to meet some other people now in order for me to decide if I really like you. You know, suss out the competition, LOL.”
What the actual frickety-frick. This isn’t real estate—you shouldn’t need to examine comps.
“No worries, I have a dog to walk,” Monica said. “My pup, Chandler, and I will enjoy some more quality time together until someone is ready to choose me because of me—regardless of comparisons. Bye, Felicia.”
#DateOrJob?
Scenario #2
One of the beauties of technology is that it’s opened us all up to a bigger world and more opportunities—in both our personal and professional lives. Long-distance dating and remote work are entirely possible, thanks to all the ways we can communicate and stay connected. But (and here’s the kicker) both parties have to be willing to commit to a long-distance relationship, regardless of its nature. Like, for real. Not just in theory.
So, when Minnie saw Mickey online, she was intrigued—but cautiously. He lived a few states away. Nothing that a short plane ride couldn’t overcome, but still, you never know what people are down for. So she asked.
At first Mickey was like, “I don’t think so, Minnie. You seem great and all, but the distance could be a problem.”
“Totally understand,” Minnie told him. “Best of luck to you!”
A month later, Mickey reached back out. “On second thought, Minnie, maybe I would like to talk? Now that I look at your profile again, you seem wonderful!” Minnie was flattered, eager, and thrilled.
Beginning of my TED Talk: We could all just search for connections right in our own little vicinity, but isn’t life richer and more fun when we expand our horizons and consider possibilities outside our tiny corner of the universe? End of my TED Talk.
So, Mickey and Minnie started messaging, which progressed to phone calls, then to Zooming—like, 10 times—and each step of the way, all signs pointed toward, “Let’s meet in person.” That’s right—magic can happen even in spite of a li’l distance.
Just when Minnie thought she was Mickey’s Big Cheese, their situation turned into a cat-and-mouse.
While Minnie was searching for the right fit for her first get-together with Mickey, she got a message: “Minnie, you’re amazing. I really like you. But I haven’t been exclusively talking to you . . . and I guess, when it comes down to it, I’ve decided I need to move forward with someone who’s, well, in my city. I hope you understand.”
“Excuse me if I’m wrong, Mickey, but didn’t I ask the question about distance first thing, at the very beginning, right up top, prior to any conversation, before either of us got invested?!”
Yes. Yes, she had. And for good reason: to avoid this exact scenario. Bait and switch much, Mickey? Step all the way off, mouse-face.
#DateOrJob?
Scenario #3
One day, Jim sent Pam a message. “Hey, would you be interested in chatting? I looked at your profile, and I like what I see! I think we have a lot in common.”
Pam had been walking in a metaphorical desert for weeks with no meaningful conversations and very few responses to messages that she’d initiated herself . . . so why not? “Sure, I’d love to connect,” she replied. Even before she looked closely at his profile. (Desperate times, man.)
They messaged back and forth, and Pam was pleasantly surprised; maybe Jim was legit? Most of the time, Pam wasn’t interested in the people who initiated—they didn’t seem like a good fit. Jim, however, raised some green flags. So, she dove a little deeper. “Can I ask: What are you looking for? Like, what qualities or characteristics typically pique your interest?” Pam had learned that it was good to be clear and upfront right away—no use wasting anyone’s time.
Jim responded, but not with what Pam expected. The description of his potential person was not like Pam at all—he didn’t list even one of her strengths or passions. What had seemed like a “green flags, go!” situation turned yellow-to-orange, and Pam realized that maybe this wasn’t a fit after all. She explained why. “Are you sure you read my profile, LOL?”
“YES, I did! I assure you, I did,” Jim pleaded. “And maybe the way I just explained it was confusing, but you really do have the qualities I’m looking for. Would you be open to talking face-to-face?”
Pam remembered her somewhat depressing desert sitch, and Jim seemed sure, and she had committed to being more open-minded lately—so, “Yes! Let’s set up a time.”
They did. She planned. He confirmed. It was on.
Until it wasn’t.
Less than 24 hours before their meet-up, Jim messaged Pam. “I’m so sorry! Due to a last-minute prioritizational (what?) change, I have to pivot and handle something internally, so I need to cancel.”
And that was the end of Jim and Pam. Abruptly. She sent back an understanding note of “I hope we can reschedule,” but there were only crickets after that and the faint silhouette of Jim’s ghost.
She never knew if this was due to the questions she asked or the concerns she raised or if Jim had not read her profile until right before their face-to-face, but what stung about this rejection was her willingness to open a new kind of door at the other person’s insistence—only to have it slammed shut. Pam hung an “OUT OF OFFICE” sign on her profile, and went back to the desert. At least she was getting her steps in, however lonely the trek was.
#DateOrJob?
Answer Key:
Surprise! They’re all “Job.” Every one of them. That’s right—the job market in 2024 continues to challenge, frustrate, confuse, and confound even the most high-quality candidates and make them feel like they’re destined to remain single, er, jobless into eternity.
If you’re one of them, hang in there, babe. Walk your dog. Watch a Disney movie. And get your steps in. Better days are ahead. I believe it.
