Quirky Insights From a Silicon Valley Misfit
I went to college and became an adult in Lincoln, Nebraska—perhaps one of the most underrated cities in the country. It’s full of talented, kind people, great bars and restaurants, and optimistic football fans who continue to believe that their beloved Huskers will one day join the ranks of the top tier in college football. I love it there. Not more than I love the Bay Area, but still—it’ll always have a piece of my heart. I wrote this piece about four year after making the transition from the Midwest to the West West . . . to put in words the thoughts and feelings I had moving from a small city to hugely populated area. Let’s just say there were “cultural differences” I had to adjust to.
My home is smack dab in the heart of Silicon Valley, and I am a 90% right-brained, free-spirited creative professional living among some of the smartest tech geeks in the world. It doesn’t take a computer genius to see I don’t fit.
I moved here a little over four years ago when I left my home of more than 20 years. Family drew me to the west coast and I ended up in San Jose—or Man Jose, if you prefer (I do). Luckily the Bay Area is a melting pot of a billion subcultures, so I don’t have to travel far to find like-minded wine lovers, hikers and other creative free spirits.
But where I live and work most days has Silicon written all over it.
I once met a woman on a flight from L.A. who thought that meant this area is replete with breast enhancements. “No,” I told her. “That’s where you live.”
People ask me frequently what it’s like to live in Silicon Valley, and I’m always a little stumped. I mean, it’s like living anywhere else—and yet, not. There are definitely some idiosyncrasies.
She’s expensive. When I moved, my rent tripled. Watching the gas pump made my Midwest head spin. Grocery shopping became a luxury. And Happy Hour became my new BFF. Then there was the time I had to buy a $50 textbook for my daughter’s class because California public schools are (how do I say this?) broke. Silicon Valley can suck your wallet dry, no joke. Sometimes I drive to this beachy spot in Santa Cruz, sit down at my favorite wine bar, stare at the Pacific with a cheap glass of Pinot, and go, “But this makes it all worth it.” And most days I convince myself.
Many people are really smart. Many others fake it. There are lots of people who have PhDs, speak multiple languages, boast Ivy League degrees or who dropped out of college because they’re already making millions. There are others who think that simply living in Silicon Valley or working for a start-up automatically ups their street cred and makes them worth a shit-ton of money. You learn to spot the posers, who are typically more condescending than their smarter counterparts. Sometimes you want to say, your address don’t mean a thing, Jack, if you still need to visit Oz for a brain. But you don’t because that would make you a jerk. Instead, you smile and understand that not everyone is worth the six figures they’re pulling in.
Most people visit The City but don’t live there because of money (even though it’s hipper than living in the South Bay). The City = San Francisco, the darling of the Bay Area and home to many who work in Silicon Valley even though it’s an hour north in good traffic. However, a decent one-bedroom will set you back $4,000+. Unless you’re in rent-controlled housing or making bank at Google or another tech giant, living in SF could require multiple roommates in cramped quarters. It’s a great place for world-class restaurants and beautiful views, but it’s tough to live there and make ends meet, even for a multi-lingual SV nerd with a PhD from Harvard.
There’s really a valley, and it’s beautiful. Silicon Valley is partially situated in what’s called Santa Clara Valley, and if you hike up in the hills surrounding it, the views are stunning. You’re probably smarter than I am and are thinking, duh—it’s called Silicon Valley for a reason. Honestly, I didn’t think about that before I got here. Now one of my favorite things to do is hike up as far as possible near dusk, then sit down and watch the vast expanse of city lights come on. If I can get a bay view, even better. Natives don’t understand that the rest of the country doesn’t look like this. My jaw still drops. I still feel like a tourist. Maybe that will never go away.
I’ve lived here over four years, but most days I feel like I still haven’t unpacked. I saw Steve Wozniak eating at Chilis one night and my son had to hold me back from asking him to sign my iPhone. The first woman who helped me get a job here is the original designer of Google’s logo—she used to drink cheap champagne with Larry and Sergei (yes, the founders) back in the day. My best friend is a software engineer for Apple and I’m still trying to figure out how to be like, no big deal, but will you give me a tour and let me geek out? I’m a very small fish in a large pond. Kind of like Dory. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming—oh look! It’s Mark Zuckerberg!
I’m a total Silicon Valley misfit with strong ties and a heart for the Midwest . . . and loving the quirks that come with living in both worlds.
